Blog

I was reminded that I have a story and that my mission is to share my story, not for the sake of the story but for the opportunity to offer HOPE that ‘the story’ is not the definition of who you are and there is no need to hold onto the negativity of it. The stories that women carry through life often have a common theme of loss and regret. I had a still birth, an abortion.  I gave my child up for adoption I gave myself away through sex. I lied, I deceived, I stole. I regret…. Any or all of these can rest in our hearts for years, if not a lifetime. It is only by going THROUGH the proce ... [read more]...

From the moment we are pregnant with our first, we begin to create a list of ‘good mother’ ideals.  We swear by these, that we will do right by our child with them. The ideals are often born out of our past positive experiences and where our experiences were negative we create the opposites to meet our needs. The Good Mother plan begins to take payment within the first months; the charge is episodes of guilt, failure, worry, fear…. You know you are depositing on the plan when you find yourself in tears or grasped by overwhelming fear and frustration. So what’s a mom to do? Well you c ... [read more]...

In Dismantling Sexuality I and II I have encouraged you to re-focus your concerns about sexuality into terms that focus more on the development of a healthy ‘self’ coining the term healthy Selfuality. Creating a shift in thinking takes practice.  It’s been said that it takes 21 days to create a habit, which is a shift in thinking that brings about change in action.  The topic of Selfuality has such a broad range of areas that are important.  So it may take you many 21 day trials to address all the area that you may desire shifting.  Be gentle, supportive yet demanding of yourself in ... [read more]...

Dismantling Sexuality   Part II They hear what they see. Parents help to develop the ‘self’ of their child over time.  They are the primary contributors to the healthy ‘selfuality’ of their children.  I believe the role of parent begins at day one, where all of what you say and do, all of what you react to and act on will be transmitted to your child, your child who’s primary means of learning is by watching and their primary teacher you. Heavy responsibility. It’s easy to assume that if there is no reaction from a child, often a noise or verbal cue that there is no understand ... [read more]...

by: Kim McLeod Let’s refer to sexuality as Selfuality from now on.  We can all move past the sex part which is a real stopper for a lot of people.  You know people tend to think about the sex part of sexuality like they think about a wedding.  It gets a lot of focus but has little to do with the long HAUL. So why then do we get stuck on the sex part of  sexuality when speaking with our children?  What is it about the sex part that creates a slight ‘panic’ and dissolves the conversation? Try making a list of thoughts and feelings that come to mind, spend some time with t ... [read more]...